A television comedy-drama mini-series – by Bob Denton
ASHA – Tannoy
(In the style of Robin Williams ‘Good Morning Vietnam’.)
Goooood moorrrning, Dreammm Homes!
[…]
GEOFF
Let me welcome you all to the best bit, of the best show, in the best venue, with the best team! Dream Homes, Dream Team!
(BILL puts two fingers to the roof of his mouth…)
[…]
PETRA – Phone
It is everything for your dream home. It is interior decoration, furniture, fabrics, ornaments and so on, and we have oodles of celebrities every day.
[…]
ASHA – Tannoy
Do make sure you visit all parts of the hall. There’s a new dream around every corner at Dream Homes.
[…]
GEOFF
What ARE you offering me, STEVE?
STEVE
Acting Event Director of Dream Homes. If you want it, it’s your show?
GEOFF
‘Acting’, that’s not exactly shouting that I have full authority. It sounds a bit temporary.
[…]
BILL
I don’t think KATE should hold her breath. A woman promoted in our place? She doesn’t stand a chance of becoming an event director!
[…]
KATE
Geoff, you don’t really have the experience to run a public show like this one. […] Public shows are different. Once we let the great unwashed into the halls, that’s when the fun really starts.
[…]
GEOFF
Surely, for the benefits of the show, we can put all that aside here and worry about who gets the job formally once we’re off site?
[…]
KATE
Steve, you know I’m more than ready for a bigger challenge. […] But I’m expected to prop up a person junior to me in every way?
[…]
KATE
GEOFF’s currently only acting event director, so I hope that means the door is still being left open for me. […] He’s a nice enough guy but I don’t think he’s really got the right stuff.
[…]
KEVIN
Can’t you see GEOFF, it’s all one big buzz for her […]
KATE
Guilty as charged your honour, it is a drug! It’s absolutely the biggest high that you can get from anything! […]
GEOFF
(Glumly.) Not to forget the biggest depression of all time when you reach breakdown and watch your year’s work disappear in twenty minutes.
[…]
JOHN
That’s my car, you bloody imbeciles! And that really is the final straw! Look I’m going back to my stand and I expect you to sort all this lot out. GEOFF, you call yourself a bloody organiser, so organise!
[…]
KEVIN
Come on, you’ve just seen GEOFF Barnes in action. You’ve got absolutely nothing to worry about there.
KATE
They may need a bit of a push to realise what’s right. (She nestles up to him and changes her voice to that of a little girl.) You’ll help me make sure they give the role to me, won’t you?
[…]
GEOFF – Radio
KATE, apparently MIKE bloody Stone is causing Colour Style grief. Where are you? Over.
KATE – Radio
(Gleefully.) Actually, I’m standing right next to MIKE Stone, over.
GEOFF – Radio
Oh my gosh, did he hear what I said?
KATE – Radio
That’s an affirmative.
[…]
GEOFF
Don’t forget I’m the Event Director […]
KATE
It’s only Acting, temporary. STEVE’s still deliberating and you’ll find there’s many a slip twixt cup and lip.
GEOFF
The way you said that sounds a bit like a threat?
[…]
KATE
Now we have a little spare time, we’ll have to come up with some ideas to scupper his ambitions.
[…]
Father
This is what you lot get up to is it, sitting in here getting pissed while your paid lackeys are beating up defenceless kids out there. Who’s in charge here?
KATE
Me.
GEOFF
Me.
[…]
JORJA
Not getting up to any more mischief are we? Not seeking out things that might make GEOFF look bad?
KATE
Just stick to cleaning the crocks, love. Don’t poke your nose into the grown-up stuff.
[…]
GEOFF
I guess if you are ever appointed as an event director, you’ll be able to make those sorts of calls. Until then we’ll do it my way. (Close-up of KATE shows a flash of antagonism.)
[…]
KATE
Don’t you just love it when a plan comes together!
SCENE SETTING:
| EPISODE 1 – PART 1: FIRST DAY OF TENANCY EXT. – EARLY MORNING (GEOFF Barnes is on ExCeL’s Boulevard standing before a locked hall door. He is clearly uncomfortable, dressed in jeans. He wears a business shirt under a business jacket, and his gait is awkward and somewhat out-of-place. In part he is uncomfortable because he’s trying to carry a briefcase, a laptop case, a suit carrier and two bulky carrier bags. He juggles with the bags, tries the door, looks at his watch, then looks around and spots someone. He tries to wave but fails to achieve this with his cumbersome bags.) |
| EPISODE 1 – PART 2: LAST DAY OF BUILD OUTER (The room is now fully furnished with two large reception desk for ASHA and PETRA. These have a counter along the front against which visitors can lean, though in the middle there is an over-elaborate floral display. The two have been supplied with high stools so they are sitting a tad higher than the desk surface. There are also two standard desks and filing cabinets for KATE and VICKI. There is a large floorplan on the wall in front of the reception counters. Just inside the door to the hall there is a set of chairs for visitors and a small coffee table. A large clock is fixed the wall.) (ASHA, PETRA and KATE sit at their desks in the front office. All are dressed more smartly. ASHA is in loose fitting black, PETRA in a skimpy top with bare midriff and KATE is in an estate-agency-like red suit. There is a distinct background noise of people and electric tools can be heard in the background.) |
| EPISODE 2 – PART 1: INNER – OPENING MORNING INNER (It is the show’s opening-day, early morning. Everyone is now dressed in their finery [suits or smart jackets and trousers, business suits for the women.) (They are assembling in the rear office. JORJA however is still in tight trousers and has a simple black T-shirt saying ‘Dream On’ in white across her chest. Each in turn picks up a radio and puts on the belt/sling to hold it, then goes to the counter to get a coffee and take a seat for the morning’s meeting. CRAIG walks in and sets to pacing up and down at the rear of the room. GEOFF is sitting at the front. DAVID, JORJA, PETRA and VICKI sit next to each other and are chatting enthusiastically. KATE sits alone to one side and near the front. ASHA arrives carrying a tray of bacon sandwiches. Overnight she has dyed her hair a bright Titian.) |
| EPISODE 2 – PART 2: IT IS LATER ON OPENING MORNING INNER (It is later, the show is now in full swing. POV starts with GEOFF sitting at a table in the rear office. JORJA is making him a coffee. It switches to show ASHA. KATE and PETRA in the front office at their desks taking calls. Then shows BILL and KEVIN up at the high point. Then switches back to GEOFF.) |
| EPISODE 3 – PART 1: MORNING OF LAST DAY EXT. (The doors are yet to be opened to the public. A small queue has gathered at the door.) INNER (We see GEOFF in the rear office with JORJA. She is wearing a T-shirt that says ‘I am a virgin’ on the front and later we will see ‘This is a very old T-shirt’ on the back. They are talking animatedly.) OUTER (POV switches to the front office. KATE and PETRA arrive, both looking a little worse for wear. ASHA is already there. She now has blond hair with a purple stripe and she is running a vacuum around the office. Everyone looks and sounds tired.) |
| EPISODE 3 – PART 2: AFTERNOON OF LAST DAY (The sound coming from the halls is heard at all four sets. It’s a constant background hum with the occasional deep bass burst from some stand inside.) EXT. (CRAIG is outside the hall, steps into a puddle while pacing at the front door. He looks anxious and is talking on his radio.) HIGH POINT (GEOFF and DAVID walk along the high point at pace towards the front of house, with GEOFF holding his radio to his ear.) OUTER (ASHA and PETRA are in the front office at their desks answering phone calls.) INNER (JORJA is at her ‘post’ in the rear office with VICKI, BILL and JOHN, drinking and chatting noisily, but we don’t hear what they are saying. KATE is at a table by herself drinking coffee but not evidently doing anything of importance.) |
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